I like to think of myself as someone that both loves being around people, but also craves and needs seclusion for my own sanity. I think that’s where a lot of people fall, the grey area between introvert and extrovert, also known as an ambivert. When you’re someone that wants to take on a million tasks and excel in all of them and “fail” to due so, it causes a large episode of introversion and introspection to occur due to the lack of self care for a long period of time. I reached a point where in my pursuit of trying to work several jobs and go to school full time and a half, I was giving up eating healthy (yes there is vegan food that is unhealthy), exercising, creative outlets and several other necessary things for me personally to be happy. Hence the absence over the last few months. For the first time in life it felt like I was losing in all aspects of my life that mattered to me. All in the pursuit of trying to meet deadlines I had placed on myself. After 3 months of a perpetual cycle of unhealthy habits, waking up in anxious fits and too many nightmares of missed exams or murderous homework monsters to count I dropped a few classes and a job. To bring this story full circle, I took a break from everything besides working and seeing people close to me to not only heal from afflictions brought on by unrealistic expectations for myself, but to also prepare for the road ahead. Whenever I speak in a public forum I try to make sure any type of message I’m spreading is from a clear mind and a full heart. While I still feel like i’m recovering from this time of my life, I learned a lot of lessons about what true failure is and to ensure self care comes first. Self care no matter what that looks like to you needs to come before all else otherwise after awhile all other pieces of your life will begin to suffer or fall away completely. Within the next two days I will be out of the state and off of the continent for a few months and I can not wait to see what types of lessons that brings to me and also cannot wait to deepen the self care I am already practicing. Getting back into the swing teaching about foreign botany, plant based food, and travel tips. Ill be heading out to Europe all over for the next two months and cant wait to share my journey with you and hope if you have teachings for me that you will share with me to.
Love & Light,
Gemma
knottynomadic.com 